Some things in life just are sad. That’s the way it is. Sadness cannot be avoided. There is no point in trying to suppress it. Feeling sad is not a crime or a psychological weakness. If something upsetting occurs then it is perfectly normal to feel sad and very abnormal – and risky to one’s emotional health (and possibly physical health as well) – not to do so.

Her frightened parents brought in a bottle that contained a strange smelling liquid and a half-dissolved tablet. Going through the story of the past twenty years of the girl’s life, I could not find any evidence of addictive behaviour. I think she’s something else.

Of course there are opportunities for all sorts of things all the time. All we have to do (if we have the inclination, the energy, the determination and various other things that are entirely self-generated) is to look for them and take advantage of them when they turn up.

I gather that violent criminals often believe that they are gentle people and that they have been misunderstood. Some people seem to have the opposite problem: they cannot forgive themselves. They live in self-inflicted torment.
The balance between these two polar opposites must be here somewhere in the middle – but I wonder if anyone ever really finds it.

When we are young we don’t really need exercise: we are so busy running after people that formal games are superfluous. By the time we need it we are probably too old and decrepit to get much benefit from whatever exercise we can do.
Best to forget all about it, I say.

The Fellowship acronym (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) for the risks of relapse is absolutely right. I would add Fearful and Confused. It could be argued that these are unavoidable but, even if they are, we need to be aware of them and recognise that they do not inevitably have to lead to a relapse – which would simply make everything worse.

Obviously we try to avoid pain if we can – but it is not always possible or even advisable.
Physical pain is very wearing when it goes on and on and when it results in loss of sleep. The sensible thing to do is to take appropriate pain relief. The tip is to take the medication regularly so as to keep pain away – because it takes even more medication to get rid of it.
Emotional pain is more challenging because the best solution is to go through it, rather than try to avoid it or suppress it. This is easier said than done. Ideally we need to talk things through with other people but the risk here is of boring our friends or becoming dependent upon professional helpers – and broke as a result. Good sponsors should be helpful but they may under-estimate the skill involved in professional work, rather than in referring people back to the Big Book of AA, which is the treatment for spiritual pain.
Mental pain comes when we are trying to prove that black is white in some aspect of our lives. The treatment of that is to be honest with ourselves – which is very difficult. Again, other people can be very helpful – but they may be the very people we do not want to listen to. Also, they may want to talk on the very subjects that we would rather avoid.
In simple terms, looking at pain is itself painful – but that is what we have to do if we want to move on.

We all make mistakes. Furthermore, we make them right across the board in every aspect of life. Learning to accept that generality is the way to reduce the problem: the more we are aware of it the more we can do about it and the more we can avoid repeating it too often. By contrast, thinking that we are perfect – or anything close – is a big accident waiting to happen.

The NHS has changed out of recognition in some areas of clinical practice and some geographical areas. It is time that NHS mental health services caught up their physical counterparts.These are the patients who are least able to help themselves.

Of course she wants financial compensation for what happened to her – but she also wants to get over it and make it a thing of the past. That is why she came to see me. With a positive attitude like that, she deserves to get well.